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Subject: [GenChat-L] Gourmet Mustard
Date: Sun, 30 Jul 2000 02:21:31 EDT

(This is a true story. If you have children you will probably relate to this
father. The names have been changed to protect the dignity of the father...)

As ham sandwiches go, it was perfection. A thick slab of ham, a fresh bun,
crisp lettuce and plenty of expensive, light brown, gourmet mustard.

The corners of my jaw aching in anticipation, I carried it to the picnic
table in our backyard, picked it up with both hands but was stopped by my
wife suddenly at my side.

"Hold Johnny-our six-week-old son-while I get my sandwich," she said.

I had him balanced between my left elbow and shoulder and was reaching again
for the ham sandwich when I noticed a streak of mustard on my fingers.

I love mustard.
I had no napkin.
I licked it off.
It was not mustard.

No man ever put a baby down faster. It was the first and only time I have
sprinted with my tongue protruding. With a washcloth in each hand I did the
sort of routine shoeshine boys do, only I did it on my tongue.

Later (after she stopped crying from laughing so hard) my wife said, "Now you
know why they call that mustard 'Poupon.'"

When you stop laughing, pass it on!

(Writer Unknown)

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