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Archiver > GenChat > 1998-09 > 0905113899


From: Alice Bradshaw< >
Subject: [GenChat-L] Re: GenChat-D Digest V98 #345
Date: Sun, 6 Sep 1998 15:31:39 -0500 (CDT)


Message
OFF TOPIC? MAYBE SO......
BUT WOMEN= MORE THAN 1/2 OF THE POPULATION, AND THEY NEED TO SEE THIS!!

Possibilities Abound as

Barbie Turns 40

Yes, it's hard to believe, but in 1999 Barbie will turn 40, just in time
to greet the new century.
And they've been 40 full, rich years.

She began as a glamorous airline stewardess when she was introduced at
Toy Fair in
1959.
She soared into space as an astronaut in 1974, ran for president in
1992, and, in
1997, she bore disability bravely, folding her bending legs into a
wheelchair to become a role model once again for a newly identified
market.

In every
incarnation,
nationality, and
skin tone, she's perfectly turned out, with accessories galore at her
long slender fingertips. She's
Every woman, she's the

Cosmo Girl, she has it all. So, what will Mattel think of next as the
company meets the challenge of
Barbie turning 40?

Why fight age?
Why not capitalize on it in every way possible? Here are some ideas
Mattel might consider for a past

40 Barbie:
Bifocals Barbie.
Comes with her own set of blended-lens fashion frames in six wild colors
(half-frames too!), neck chain and large-print editions of Vogue and
Martha Stewart Living.

Hot Flash Barbie.
Press
Barbie's bellybutton and watch her face turn beet red while tiny drops
of perspiration appear on her forehead! With hand-held fan and tiny
tissues.

Facial Hair Barbie.
As
Barbie's hormone levels shift, see her whiskers grow! Available with
teensy tweezers and magnifying mirror.

Cook's Arms
Barbie.
Hide
Barbie's droopy triceps with these new, roomier-sleeved gowns.

Good news on the tummy front, too: muumuus are back! Cellulite cream and
loofah sponge optional.

Bunion
Barbie.
Years of disco dancing in stiletto heels have definitely taken their
toll on
Barbie's dainty arched feet. Soothe her sores with this pumice stone and
plasters, then slip on soft terry mules. Colors: pink, rose, blush.

No More Wrinkles
Barbie.
Erase those pesky crow's-feet and lip lines with a tube of Skin
Sparkle-Spackle, from
Barbie's own line of exclusive age-blasting cosmetics.

Soccer Mom
Barbie.
All that experience as a cheerleader is really paying off as
Barbie dusts off her old high school megaphone to root for
Babs and Ken Jr. With mini-van in robin's egg blue or white, and cooler
filled with doughnut holes and fruit punch.

Midlife Crisis
Barbie.
It's time to ditch Ken.
Barbie needs a change, and
Bruce (her personal trainer) is just what the doctor ordered, along with
Prozac.
They're hopping in her new red
Miata and heading for the Napa Valley to open a B&B. Comes with real
tape of "Breaking Up Is Hard to Do."

Single Mother
Barbie.
There's not much time for primping anymore! Ken's shacked up with the
Swedish au pair in the
Dream House and
Barbie's across town with
Babs and Ken Jr. in a fourth-floor walk-up. Barbie's selling off her old
gowns and accessories to raise rent money. Complete garage sale kit
included.

Recovery
Barbie.
Too many parties have finally caught up with the ultimate party girl.
Now she does 12 steps instead of dance steps!
Clean and sober, she's going to meetings religiously. Comes with little
copy of The Big Book and six-pack of
Diet Coke.
Who knows when
Barbie will have outlived her usefulness?

>From
Dream House to
Nursing Home (both new and improved -- wheelchair-accessible and
retrofitted to conform to
ADA code requirements), the possibilities (not to mention the
accessories) are endless.
CHEERS ?
ALICE
AUTHOR UNKNOWN

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