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Archiver > FOLKLORE > 2001-04 > 0986206954


From: Karie Johnson <>
Subject: [FOLKLORE FAMILY] WINDOWS 98- BROOKLYN EDITION
Date: Mon, 2 Apr 2001 03:22:34 -0700 (PDT)



Important update from Microsoft regarding Windows-

Dear Consumers:

It has come to our attention that a few copies of the WINDOWS 98 BROOKLYN
EDITION may have accidentally been shipped outside
Brooklyn.
If you have one of these, you may need some help understanding the
commands.
The Brooklyn edition may be recognized by the unique opening screen.
It reads: "WINDAS 98," with a background picture of Grand Army Plaza.
When you start the program, instead of the usual "harpy, stringy" music, you
hear the theme from the Godfather. It is also shipped
with a Sopranos screen saver.

Please also note:

The Recycle Bin is labeled "Bedford Stuyvesant."
My Computer is called "My Friggin' Computer."
The Inbox is referred to as "The Trunk."
Deleted items are referred to as "Wacked," "Erased," or "Rubbed Out."
Dial up Networking is called "The Bar."
Control Panel is known as the "The Bosses."
Performing an "illegal operation" is known as "enhancing the family
business" and will actually maximize the program instead of shutting it
down.
Hard Drive is referred to as "The BQE Rush Hour."
Instead of an error message a "You ain't gonna friggin' believe this!" pops
up.

CHANGES IN TERMINOLOGY IN THE BROOKLYN EDITION:

OK...................Sure ting
Cancel..............Fugetaboutit
Reset...............Start Ova
Yes..................Yeah
No....................Nah
Find..................Put a contract out on
Browse..............Get a looksee
Back.................U turn
Help..................(Help is not available - youse don't need no help)
Stop..................Knock it off
Start..................Move it!
Settings.............Here's the Rules

Also note that any voice recognition software run on the BROOKLYN EDITION
platform does not recognize the letter "R."

Some programs and other accessories that are exclusive to WINDAS 98:

Typa................A word processing program
Printa...............Printer
Calculata..........Calculator
Solitare.............Seven Card Stud

We regret any inconvenience it may have caused if you received a copy of the
BROOKLYN EDITION. You may return it to Microsoft for a replacement version.

Youse got a problem wit dat?
BILL ("4 eyes") GATES

If you dont stand for something, you'll fall for anything.......







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