FOLKLORE-L Archives

From: Turk McGee <>
Subject: [FOLKLORE-L] Wear Sunscreen
Date: Mon, 05 May 1997 13:44:07 -0400

Speech

This was rumoured to be Kurt Vonnegut's 1997
commencement address at MIT. The origin is a
Mary Schmich column in Chicago Herald Tribune.
But did you know who really gave the MIT address?
See also this article.

Ladies and gentlemen of the class of '97:

Wear sunscreen.

If I could offer you only one tip for the future,
sunscreen would be it. The long-term benefits of
sunscreen have been proved by scientists, whereas
the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than
my own meandering experience. I will dispense this
advice now.

Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth. Oh, never
mind. You will not understand the power and beauty
of your youth until they've faded. But trust me, in 20
years, you'll look back at photos of yourself and recall
in a way you can't grasp now how much possibility
lay before you and how fabulous you really looked.
You are not as fat as you imagine.

Don't worry about the future. Or worry, but know
that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an
algebra equation by chewing bubble gum. The real
troubles in your life are apt to be things that never
crossed your worried mind, the kind that blindside
you at 4 pm on some idle Tuesday.

Do one thing every day that scares you.

Sing.

Don't be reckless with other people's hearts.
Don't put up with people who are reckless with yours.

Floss.

Don't waste your time on jealousy. Sometimes you're
ahead, sometimes you're behind. The race is long
and, in the end, it's only with yourself.

Remember compliments you receive. Forget the
insults. If you succeed in doing this, tell me how.

Keep your old love letters. Throw away your old
bank statements.

Stretch.

Don't feel guilty if you don't know what you want to
do with your life. The most interesting people I know
didn't know at 22 what they wanted to do with their
lives. Some of the most interesting 40-year-olds I
know still don't.

Get plenty of calcium. Be kind to your knees. You'll
miss them when they're gone.

Maybe you'll marry, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll
have children, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll
divorce at 40, maybe you'll dance the funky chicken
on your 75th wedding anniversary.

Whatever you do, don't congratulate yourself too
much, or berate yourself either. Your choices are half
chance. So are everybody else's.

Enjoy your body. Use it every way you can. Don't be
afraid of it or of what other people think of it. It's the
greatest instrument you'll ever own.

Dance, even if you have nowhere to do it but your
living room.

Read the directions, even if you don't follow them.

Do not read beauty magazines. They will only make
you feel ugly.

Get to know your parents. You never know when
they'll be gone for good. Be nice to your siblings.
They're your best link to your past and the people
most likely to stick with you in the future.

Understand that friends come and go, but with a
precious few you should hold on. Work hard to
bridge the gaps in geography and lifestyle, because the
older you get, the more you need the people who
knew you when you were young.

Live in New York City once, but leave before it
makes you hard. Live in Northern California once,
but leave before it makes you soft. Travel.

Accept certain inalienable truths: Prices will rise.
Politicians will philander. You, too, will get old. And
when you do, you'll fantasize that when you were
young, prices were reasonable, politicians were noble,
and children respected their elders.

Respect your elders.

Don't expect anyone else to support you. Maybe you
have a trust fund. Maybe you'll have a wealthy
spouse. But you never know when either one might
run out.

Don't mess too much with your hair or by the time
you're 40 it will look 85.

Be careful whose advice you buy, but be patient with
those who supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia.
Dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the
disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and
recycling it for more than it's worth.

But trust me on the sunscreen.

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• [FOLKLORE-L] Wear Sunscreen by Turk McGee <>